I don’t know if Mal has some form of precognition or if this was happenstance, but I have grown, and grown quickly since my arrival in Sandpoint. I’ve seen the best and worst of people, seen a creature of light twisted into darkness, seen a family torn asunder by greed and bitterness, and seen two brave men join my side against places and creatures that would make grown men quail.
I can’t shake the feeling that if I had come here a year or two earlier I could have stopped all of this. The girl, an Aasimar, just needed someone to understand her, someone to feel her pain with her so she didn’t bottle it all up. Maybe I could have saved her, saved the town all this hurt and trouble.
But that’s just my ego speaking, I’m sure. I can’t fix everything. In fact I’m not even any good at tasks that don’t involve hurting something with a sword. I need something more, something that I can only pray to discover what it is before something worse happens around me that I can’t handle. Goddess, I feel so lost here, but I’m going to put on a brave face for the townsfolk and my new friends. With so much darkness here (demons in a small town like this? Really?) the people need their heroes, and even though I don’t feel up to the challenge, I will be what they need.
Maybe now with the goblin threat crushed and the Laametsu’s influence purged, this town will return to normal. I can always hope and pray, but with how they’ve been experiencing trouble after trouble, I can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t all over yet.
I’ll write more when I have time. Right now all I need is sleep. Sleep and some Oldlaw to take the edge off the things I’ve seen today. Got to be careful though, Mal says alcoholism runs in my family. I’ll just have a few, that’s all. Just to take the edge off.